it hurts more in the daytime
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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