dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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