god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I love you. Go after that dick
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
