Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
