No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
