chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
