remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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