one two three fourrrrnication!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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