Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
