If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
