I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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