At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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