My liver just broke up with me...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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