i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
