STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
