btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
