I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
