I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
