Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
