the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
