i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
