No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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