Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
