I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
