I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
