this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
