I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
