You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
