I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
