he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
