she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
