my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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