I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
