Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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