She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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