So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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