dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
