i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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