well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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