genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
