Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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