thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
