i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
