Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
