its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
