if we break up, who will get the dealer?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So many bounce houses so little time
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
