He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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