Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
