Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
