You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
