he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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